Inner Child



"Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." ~Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

Titled "A group of adult people." by Wikipedia

As adults we're told that it’s important to embrace our inner child.   But in our teens and our early twenties we’re told to stop behaving like children and “grow up!”.   I think somehow during the stages of developing as adults we were taught to repress our childish spirit, believing that in order to be responsible we had to stop having fun. 

I’ve looked up the definition of what it means to be an adult and no-where does it state that an adult must abstain from engaging in playful activity.  But society generally tells us (as in the exciting picture on the left) that being an adult means being serious all the time and in the process we have eliminated some “childish” behaviours and expression that are imperative to our happiness.

Is it a coincidence that most of us started drinking alcohol during our teens when we were expected to “grow up” and transition into adulthood?  Is it possible that we drank alcohol during this period as a way of holding onto our childhood?   

Most adults drink alcohol because they believe they can't let go and have fun without it.  I'd like to challenge that belief.  When I’m on the dance floor being silly and having fun these days I’m enjoying the fact that anyone who doesn’t know me probably thinks I’m drunk.  I have no excuse for my “childish” behaviour.  And it feels good.

If you would like to support the cause you can recommend this page below or donate here: http://www.everydayhero.com.au/sarah_walton_6

To drink, or not to drink, that is the question:

How do we decide if we’re going to drink on any given day? 

Rock Bar, Bali

Usually factors like work, children, responsibilities, playing and training for sports or having to drive.  But society leans so strongly toward drinking that if we don’t have a reason not to drink, then the assumed answer is “to drink!”.

In an old Friends episode Rachel (who is 30-something and pregnant) is going on a date with a new guy.  She doesn’t want to tell him she’s pregnant, so before leaving for her date she asks Joey’s opinion on what she should say when her date questions why she’s not drinking.  Her options are:  “… A) I’m a Morman; B) I’m a recovering alcoholic or; C) I got so wasted last night I’m still a little drunk”.

Why is not drinking on a date so unusual that we would feel we have to come up with an excuse as to why we’re not drinking in the first place?  It’s like coming up with reasons for not doing our homework: “Sorry Miss, the dog ate my... liver”.    Where does this come from?

Alcohol looks most appealing when it’s drunk by characters in films and on television.  I’m thinking attractive men and women sipping fancy cocktails in cosmopolitan cities and tropical islands.   Just writing about it makes me feel like a drink, but the irony is that they’re not even drinking alcohol!  I wonder how much of our desire to drink actually comes from this unrealistic Hollywood illusion?  The drinks in the above photo are non-alcoholic.  Does that change their appeal?

My binge-drinking past and my current sobriety allows me to see both sides of the argument “To drink, or not to drink”.   Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

NOT TO DRINK

* Productivity – I’m powering through goals faster than ever before.

* More energy – I signed up to do my first half-marathon and I can safely say I don’t think I could do it if I was drinking.

* Clarity – My awareness has expanded, my mind is sharper and I feel creatively alive.

* Strength – Physically, mentally and emotionally I feel like The Hulk!  

* Health – My lifestyle has naturally become healthier and more balanced from my eating habits, to exercise and activities.

* Wealth - I'm not just saving money, but I'm spending money on experiences that are more meaningful to me.

* Relationships – I’ve become much more reliable!  No more social no-shows due to hangovers.

* Long Weekends – No time wasted paralysed on the couch nursing a hangover means weekends feel longer.  Which brings me to the most obvious bonus of not drinking… No dreaded hangover!

* Happiness - All of the above positives work together increasing my overall happiness within myself and in all areas of my life.

TO DRINK

So far I haven’t come up with any good reason to drink…


If you're looking for an excuse to have a month without alcohol check out: http://febfast.org.au/ or http://www.dryjuly.com/?gclid=CODL6d3vi7ACFYY3pAoddyfJow

If you would like to support the cause you can recommend this page below or donate here: http://www.everydayhero.com.au/sarah_walton_6

Weapon of Mass Compassion

Watch out anger, jealousy and hate, here comes an emotion that can extinguish all three of you in one hit.  Compassion is taking the world by storm one unhappy person at a time.


Photo by Kat Hannon

 After all, anyone acting out in a harmful way is simply unhappy.  We never know what they might be going through and often it has nothing to do with us.  If we retaliate we not only make things worse for them, but for ourselves.

Given a choice, what sort of world do we want to live in?  One of anger and unhappiness?...  Or one of love and kindness?  We have the power to make that choice and we make it every time we’re faced with anger, hate or jealousy.  Do we continue to spread these emotions or do we take out our weapon of mass compassion and blow them away?  

Lets look at bullying.  It’s not just limited to the school playground.  It’s at work, at home, it’s everywhere.  The crazy thing is that bullying can come from a place of love, a place of good intention.   There’s the sort of bullying that comes from jealousy (in friendships or between lovers).  It’s the fear of losing that love that creates the need to protect it and fight against others.  But if we really loved someone, wouldn’t we want them to have other friends and feel loved by other people?     

Then there’s the situation when someone we love is being bullied or hurt by someone else.   Our initial reaction is to stop the hurt, but often the actions that are taken to stand up to the bully means we end up bullying the bully in the process.  What’s worse is when friends or family unite to “stand up” to the bully too and then what do we have?  We started with only one bully and now we have a whole clan of them!  Is that what we want?  More of what we’re fighting against? 

When someone is treating us badly it's often because they, themselves have been treated badly by someone else.  If we fight back with more of that negative behaviour... when does it end?

It ends with compassion.  When we fight with compassion we break the chain of harmful behaviour.  When we stop spreading the disease of unhappiness, we start spreading a new chain of emotion… LOVE.

If you would like to support the cause you can recommend this page below or donate here: http://www.everydayhero.com.au/sarah_walton_6