Ego

Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Many people use the word "ego" without truly understanding what it means.  Our ego can simply be described as our identity, or our "view of ourselves", but it's our attachment to that view that causes us problems.  When we feel that someone has hurt our feelings we have to ask… did they really hurt our feelings or did they hurt our pride or our ego?   Did they merely challenge our view of ourselves?  Sometimes we accuse others of egotistical behaviour, while our accusation alone is an egotistical act. 

An action or behaviour cannot necessarily be defined as egotistical (eg. simply putting up a photo of ourselves on facebook), it is the intention behind our actions that denotes whether it is egotistical or not.  It's our attachment to that photo or our relationship with it.  The more our intentions come from a loving, positive place the less our ego will control our lives.  

During my years working as an actor I struggled with and became disillusioned by the egotistical nature of the entertainment industry.  I eventually realised that although there are some people in the industry who are driven by fame, fortune and celebrity, there are actually a larger percentage who are working in the industry because they genuinely enjoy the artistic process, they have authentic stories to tell and they want to make a positive contribution to society.  Aesthetically both of these groups of people appear to be taking the same actions, but it's their intention that seperates them.   When our intention is focussed on sharing our experiences or our story with others it becomes an art form or a spiritual exercise.  It's simply communication.  It's not about "me", it's about sharing what we've learnt with others.  When we're driven by a desire to give to others through the expression of our skills and passions we enjoy the ride without being attached to the end result.  The irony is that when driven by positive intentions we often get the A grade fantasy and end result we dream of.  It's greed, ego and unhealthy competition that ultimately lead to our demise.

Whether we’re aware of it or not, most of us are attached to our “view” or label we've given to ourselves.  Whether it’s “I’m outgoing”, “I’m shy”, “I’m a hard worker”, “I’m a nice person”, “I’m a bitch”.  When we let go of restricting ourselves to labels and we accept the spectrum of qualities we have within us we allow ourselves to just “be”.  We don’t have a side to defend, we don’t have a view to protect.  We are able to judge less, love more and we have a better shot at creating the lives and relationships we truly desire.  

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